714

714 days without a drink (and counting).  Lately, I have been questioning my choice to go to AA. Not because I am unhappy in AA. But because I am missing participating in some events from my past. Springtime and Summer bring beer festivals and brewing competitions. 

And beer/alcohol seems to make it into everything. Ales and Trails used to be one of my favorite events. Mountain biking followed by drinking craft beer. Now that I am riding again that has come up. (and not just for the Ales and Trails event)  Warm weather brings more beer festivals and other outdoor gatherings with beer being a large part of the event. 

I have years of habits, rituals, and events that I am working on breaking, changing, or removing. 

On the flip side I have been to meetings in other cities. That has been fun, interesting, different, and comforting. I went to a meeting at a sobriety club in Las Vegas. Who knew such a thing existed? It was nice to go someplace that looked like a sports bar but instead of alcohol and sports talk it was NA beverages and AA meetings. 

I wrote the above paragraphs somewhere around a week ago. After more contemplation I have come to the realization that I need to think less about replacing alcohol and more about starting from scratch. I don’t need to ask “what am I going to do instead of go to brewery on warm afternoon with a few hours to myself?” I need to ask “what can I do for the next few hours that would be useful, or make me happy?” And that is true for pretty much every experience with alcohol. If the event was about alcohol I don’t need to replace that event I need to remove it. If the event was focused on something else and alcohol was part of the experience I need to decide if that event is still important to me. And if it is then decide how to participate without alcohol. In short, I need to let go of my past and focus on the present. Make decisions moment by moment with clarity. Simple but not easy.